Something NEW

So tonight my dear hubby kicked me out of the house and encouraged me to go to a worship service that I have been to once and wanted to go to again. It was nice to go. It is a time for me. For me to get out, child free, and to worship my God. I get to focus on Him and what He wants to do in my life.
I am on a special road to recovery. I am a worrier, a fixer, I fear failure as a mother and as a wife, I am stressed most of the time. (Self induced of course). I am and can be selfish. Whoa! Can there possibly be more? You bet! But I won't go into everything now. Because this is a positive post, not a negative one. However in order to heal we must see what is broken. I am working hard on trying to deal with things and situations that come my way on a daily, weekly or even sometimes an hourly basis. I am working on not having my beloved panic attacks that turn into full blown anxiety. I am glad to say that I have been panic/anxiety free for a long time, months, maybe more. However I know that I still feel anxious at times and need to deal with it. I need to not let what other people say get to me. Lately I have felt self pity. I am letting others opinions and comments get to me. No one else is living my life but me. No one knows more what is going on in my life, head and more so my heart, than God! There is no lying, hiding and pretending I have it all together with Him. Raising four children all close in age is no easy task. No one has any clue to how hard it is unless they have four kids. No one knows how hard it is to function on little sleep due to kids coughing for 4 hrs straight, waking up with dripping bloody noses, bad dreams, asthma attacks, etc... but God knows. He knows it all. As much as I wish I could shout out to the world or hide all my fears and anxieties, I am blessed that God knows! When no one understands, He does. When people hurt me, He heals. I love the praise song Our God by Chris Tomlin. I hear it and am instantly reminded that he can and will heal. He can and will be strength. Because he IS! Our God!

"Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God you are higher than any other

Our God is Healer, awesome in power

Our God, Our God..."

Here's to something NEW! Time for myself. Thank you to the best husband in the world for giving me the boot out the door and taking on the tasks at home while I refuel myself.