Tonsillectomy #2, A Baby Shower and Other Ramblings

Man Alive. The last week of school was crazy and insane with field trips for two of the girls, last minute project, end of year swim party I had to more or less get into place, and Tj's surgery. He had his tubes removed and redone and his adenoids and tonsils removed. Madelyn a little over a year ago had her tonsils removed (And her and Brooke both had adenoids removed a few years back), so we knew exactly what we were in for with the surgery day, the coming out of anesthesia, the nausea, the raspy voice, the fevers, the tears and the pain that we were totally responsible for maintaining. We were ready. Okay we were not ready. I think a part of Ron and I, more him than I, felt pressure to have all of this done. It was highly recommended but with the whole autism uncertainty we knew that we needed to remove any and all issues facing him that could change his evaluation. Like whether his hearing is less due to ear infections, or wax/fluid build up, snoring causing lack of sleep meaning harder behavior during the day, etc.... So we got it scheduled and we did it.

Mommy and Tj showing off his surgery-wear! They only stayed on momentarily. (And I look horrible. No makeup, few hrs of sleep, and beyond worried about my little boy).

Daddy and TJ. Daddy was a little stressed out with worry too. I loved TJ in this picture too.

Our little man walking back like a big boy with the nurse. He was so brave and Ron and I fought back tears.

Resting peacefully the first night. We were surprised at how well he was doing, but knew it wouldn't last long. The next few days are always worse! And that was a complete understatement this time around. It was BAD!!! We broke down as TJ whimpered and cried with no voice in recovery as he was fighting to come out of the anesthesia. It was really brutal to watch and Ron and I couldn't handle it. I think it was months of worry for our little guy and we just let it out. The nurse was so sweet and actually got us tissue and left us alone with TJ as he cried himself to sleep. She came in after we composed ourselves to give us all the discharge info as he slept. He then woke up again, threw up all over his blanket and my coat, then settled down. We finally got more nausea meds in him and he seemed more comfortable.

So here we are 6 days later and things are finally looking up a little. Not as much as we had hoped but a little. We still are giving him his full dose of pain meds every four hrs and the motrin every 6 or else he is SO miserable for a long time. Hoping to taper off in the next two days.

We have also noticed a few things that if he is autistic, that have been worse since surgery. Almost like heightened twitches, and movements, and over irritated by little touches from people and minor territorial things that he gets super upset over. He was hitting alot. Kinda one of those things that we deal with already but much worse. Hard to say if it's the medicine or not. Ron and I have noticed these things and have come to agree that if we find out he is autistic that surgery, anesthesia, pain medication, and/or recovery alter the behaviors we see and have seen in him. Kind of interesting. On a side note, I found an amazing book, almost a devotional for parents, or any adult in a child's life who is battling autism. I am stoked to read it, if he is diagnosed. No reason to jump the gun any more than I already have. Hard not to when some days I just know he is. And others where I am not so sure or think NO WAY! I worry less about the whole situation. TJ is our son and our love for him will never change. We have grown more aware of a horrible mind altering disease, disability, or whatever you want to call it. If for anything else, it is to have compassion on children who seem "difficult" in public. Most will not have autism but there may be one someday, and I will not know. I don't and will NEVER judge and child acting up in public again. I will never judge a mother who rolls their eyes and flashes a distressed smile at others when trying to deescalate the problem. For this is the life I have had. For this I have gained understanding. I have learned not to judge others in their parenting. Sometimes parents truly are doing the best they know how. For this I am grateful that God has brought this into our lives. Tj is our son. We love him because he is who he is. The strange things he does are things we used to look at and think, "how cute". Sometimes now we look at them and think "please stop doing that". But I remind myself that no ones children are perfect and God made each of mine with very different personalities. There are days where Tj is no easier than another. :) It's all about gaining perspective, growing in understanding and standing strong on God's Word and knowing that he knew TJ before we even imagined he would be in our lives. He is perfect the way God wanted him to be.

My Sisters Baby Shower!!
The Saturday before TJ's surgery my sister in law and I and a few of Stephs good friends got to put together my sisters baby shower. It was so much fun, went really good and I can't believe that she is having little Samantha in just 5 weeks. It seems unreal that it could be coming up this fast. So I told Madelyn to grab the camera and take a few pictures since I was busy in the kitchen. She did just that, took a few. So here they are. Of the cake. Chantiell of All Around Cakes ( allaroundcakes.com ) did a fabulous job of course and her cupcakes and cake were incredible as always. If you are local check her out and you MUST use her!!

The frosting is perfect, not too sweet, totally edible, all of it. And the rolled fondant is better than good. She makes a marshmallow fondant and we all fight over who gets the fondant pieces. ;)
And seriously, who fights over the fondant??

The cupcakes, red velvet and vanilla

Well, summer is here and we have a few things planned. We go camping in a few weeks at the lake. We have a few bdays in the family. I get to meet my niece. TJ has his evaluations. All of these things are much anticipated events. It will be a good summer.

We are looking at being in a wonderful place financially in a few months. We are making smart decisions with when Ron goes back to work and we are very excited about that. We hope to be debt free soon. A place that we never imagined. When so many people say "that is just how it is when you have kids, no money and you have to lean on credit cards". Ron and I hope to break the mold. We hope to teach our kids that money is to be spent when you have it, not because you want something. For those of you that don't know we are following Dave Ramsey. We are just reading and taking tips from "The Total Money Makeover". If you have debt, whether it's a few thousand or fifty or more thousand, check out this book. It will change your life, and you thinking about money. It was a life changing book for Ron and I. If you are in a hard place, there is a way out. If we can do it, so can you. TRUST ME, if WE can do it, so can YOU!!! You can check out my other blog up in the upper left hand corner in the section "our obsession".

Thanks for keeping up on us. The next blog I hope to compile pictures from the past few months that got missed because I was having trouble with uploading pictures.

Take care and HAPPY SUMMER!!!!