Crying Coughing Cauterization

Oh yeah, this has been our past 5 days. I heard a rumor it was Spring Break. But I haven't had any part of it yet. Thanks to my parents and sister, the girls have each officially had a turn at my folks house with Lili for a sleepover.

Brooke was terrible sick Wed-Fri and finally appeared more normal on Saturday/Sunday. We took her into Urgent Care Thursday as she just became real sick. I didn't want to wait it out through the night and there was no way I was going to wait hours in the ER. UC is way cheaper than the ER, and I don't have to pay a co-pay upfront. She had a nasty sinus infection and a virus on top of that. She still has a terrible cough.
 TJ has cried most of the night each night since Friday. I am right now listening to his cry (more like a whiny cry). Friday we started his med adjustment. He was a terror. Behaviors all over, getting into everything, messes gallor, it was as if I let him out of a cage to explore for the first time EVER. When told "no" he would gently, but still, swing at me as if to hit. He tried kicking me a few times. (Nothing with much power, more of a fling your leg out in front of you. Clearly being defiant.) But wow, he was talking. TALKING BACK! I was so stressed and frustrated. I called on a few people to pray for him. Okay, so maybe it was to pray for me at this point.
Ron was home for a short time and couldn't take what he was seeing either. What was going on with TJ?

It was tag team time to get to bedtime.

Bedtime was a mess.

I told Ron for the 2nd time since discovering his diagnosis, that maybe, just maybe, he was getting sick. I had heard from many of my cyber autism moms that these kiddos will have heightened sensory issues and negative behaviors will increase and regressions will take place.
Tj started crying that night, most of the night, and when I asked where his owie was he would cry "my mouth". He seemed fine Saturday, calmer, more like our TJ, then another sleepless night. Appeared fine Sunday, but laid low because of the sleepless nights and him still saying his mouth hurt. Sunday night and Monday morning were terrible. I cancelled TJ's OT and it was off to the dr. I was sure he had strep. He had spent the past 8 hrs battling a pretty good fever.
Strep negative. Just a virus. 24-48 hours of fever and feeling crummy, with a cough that would probably appear shortly. Sounds just like Brooke's illness. And the dr was dead on. This is exactly what has happened.

Tj had spent about 5 hours crying non stop by this point. I was carrying him in from the car after dr appt.

We were up most of the night Monday into Tuesday. I have about 3 hours total of spaced out sleep at this point. At 6 we were woken up to TJ having a terrible bloody nose. Took about 30 minutes to stop. Hello laundry! We were SO tired, and Rons alarm bleeped twenty minutes after lying back down. lol, I was so tired and furious by this time. I just wanted to get some sleep.
My notification reminder alarm went off at 8 and I had totally forgotten that TJ had an appt with the ENT regarding the bloody noses that have been getting worse. 3-4 a week and they are a problem throughout that whole day. So, I scrambled to get sleeping kids up and out the door. Dad said I could drop girls off there. I did. On the way in I had to pull over because I looked back and saw that TJ's nose was dripping again! He didn't say anything to me, he just watched it. He totally freaked out because we were pulled off the road. The cars, trucks and semi's going by were blowing us around. He kept saying "get in" and wiggling. I used every napkin and kleenex I had in the car to try and get this one stopped.
We pulled into the ENT's 20 minutes late, and still a nose bleeding, praying that they would see us and not make us reschedule. I checked in and the lady said, "It looks like you have a $20 co-pay". I looked at her with bloody hands holding the face and head of a bloody child and nicely asked (and maybe a few tears in my eyes) if I could please pay it on my way out. She was kind and said that was fine and gave me a box of kleenexes, (I assumed they were for TJ, but I now wonder if she thought maybe I would lose it at any moment).  She walked me to the waiting area and went and got the nurse. They helped me get the nose to stop bleeding.
Tj's dr came in and saw the blood everywhere, looked in his history and decided it was time again to cauterize the nasal passages. It was done in Dec of 09. So after some cleanup he began the process.
Sprayed a little numbing "water" in nostrils. Put a local numbing gel in. Lots of sneezing, more cleanup, and trying not to sweat as I was wiping his nose, the plastic gown they put on him, while trying to keep it from spraying the docs nice white lab coat. He was arching his back with each sneeze worried about his whites. Just as I wondered how I must have looked to him, he said "You look like you are a pro at this".  I was a frantic mess in my head, but would kindly accept his compliment. Or sympathetic comment. Not really sure by the tone in his voice.
TJ was a real trooper and budged only once during the whole thing. The Dr complimented him several times. This particular ENT has a nephew with aspergers and has always been wonderful to us. He took TJ out to get a sticker and we were out of there.
So this mom gets an A+ for appearing to have it together. The true colors show the moment I answer the phone call from Ron. Instant tears. Sobbing "I am just so tired". "It was terrible....." Blah blah wah, wah. For some reason Ron is to me what my mom used to be (and still is sometimes). The little girl who starts crying the moment she sees or talks to mom after a bad day at school, a big loss after playing terrible during a game, etc... 

Nose all clean. Only took about 8 tissue. (this is after the cauterizing, tonight actually)


So here is to our Spring Break. May the last few days be great ones. Even if they are not, I am bound and determined to get all this out of the way because summer is coming and things move fast from here on out. Ron only has 6-8 weeks left of work and the kids schooling always speeds by. We value our summers. Especially this coming one. It will mark one year knowing TJ has autism, we will have a re-eval to see his progress, and we are taking a few vacations. We have made our family our highest priority in the past year and it has been a blessing. With all this stress, uncertainty and the trials, I know that God has made us stronger through each and every one. There will be bad days, there will be days that emotionally I let autism break me, and there will be days when I wonder why God chose me to parent the four babies he has blessed me with. But rest assure that for the first time in my life I also see and appreciate each and every day, which there are several HUNDRED a year that are not those bad, rough days when I let something get the best of me. God is always bigger. And I am learning to allow him to be.
Here is to the latest of trials of being a mom to four children, the dominoes of illnesses, and to the challenges of autism. Satan you got nothing. You may win a few battles here and there but when I close my eyes and end my day with one of many conversations I have with God, YOU LOSE!