Autism 101 or Autism NONE?

Just a Normal Day, Right?
As I dropped TJ off at speech therapy on Tuesday I was off to having a super great day. I decided to go to Costco and meander around. I wondered and browsed. It was so much fun. Kid free. I looked through books, clothes, movies, and household items. I got my few groceries I needed when it was getting close to needing to leave. It was just a rare moment of being in a store by myself. I had a very nice time.

I was off to go pick TJ up from speech to take him to my Father-in-laws. He has decided to keep TJ a few Tuesdays a month for a few hours to spend time with him and give me a much desired break. Needless to say I was have a great day.

Did I hear you right?
I got to Tj's class to pick him up and noticed he was the last one there. Must have had low numbers this day. He was in the bathroom with the teacher assistant. I watched him as he washed his hands when his therapist came up to me and said she wanted to talk with me. She said that she was seeing a few signs that make her think that TJ needs to be tested for autism. I said "ok" as I replayed in my mind what she had just said. I am not sure I knew what to think. There was a part of me that felt defensive. There was a part of me that was maybe relieved that there might be a reason he is so hard. (His behavior will be for a later or maybe another post). I listened as she said, if I was okay with him being observed that she would get the referral and the papers ready for me to sign the following week. I said ok. What parent would purposefully hold their child back from any help that they may need. Whether it's medically, socially, developmentally, etc...

I love how after you leave a really weird situation how you start thinking of all the questions you really have or things you wanted or wished you would've said. I called Ron who didn't answer, so then I called my sister. I tearfully wept as I told her what I had just heard. I was heartbroken that my son could possibly have a stupid label on him. That we were off to a huge reality of research I don't have time for. That his future may not be what we want it to be. That all the talk that goes on behind our back about our child's behavior and busyness is validated and that he isn't just "all boy". (And yes, word usually gets back when to you when talk about peoples children, and we as parents can usually sense it).


That evening Ron and I had a lot of time to talk and we both had done some research online. Most of the things we read didn't seem to fit. Actually very few of them do. We then agreed that I would call the pathologist back and ask specifically what things she saw in TJ that raised concern. I also would call his physician, whom we totally trust! And finally we would call a naturalpathic dr that we also trust to see if he could help see if he has any food intolerance's.

So with all of this being said we are on our journey to find out if TJ truly has mild autism or if he doesn't. I feel that it is alright to write about it. We are so confused. There are moments I think "no way!" and moments where I think there is more to his behavior, delayed speech and reactions to circumstances and things. I am choosing to write about our findings and everyones opinions. Mostly so that whatever the outcome I have it documented. The easiest way sometimes is to blog. So that is what I am doing.

The questions begin
I called and got in to see his pediatrician who was instantly irritated by the idea of the ESD wanting him tested. He believes he is all boy and that if he had autism he would see relationships decrease and our communication with him be different. As of now the communication, or lack thereof is due to TJ not being able to express with WORDS what he wants. He is finally in the past 6 weeks saying many words, pointing to things, foods, toys and naming them and naming them exactly what they are. It is so nice to hear him talking. It is and has been a long road with the delay in speech due to not knowing what he is needing, wanting and feeling. Basing everything off guessing what his gestures mean, having him constantly showing us what he wants, what happened, etc... We used to joke that if we ever play charades, I want TJ on my team. We'll win. Maybe he'll be a professional mime someday. The dr seems to think that the speech is improving, so will the communication. He is not really concerned.

The speech pathologist returned my call and was very nice and friendly. She said that the things that raised a flag for her was his lack of interacting with any of the children. He will react and respond to the teachers, but not really with the kids. Very independent play. He is loud and seems to makes noises, repetitive noises and babbles (or to him, maybe words) at random times. And often. He also makes physical movements, like when excited or doing something.

Dr again then says those things are normal childhood behavior and if we want him tested that is fine but to be cautious having him tested to the point where he is labeled. He said that if he has mild autism it is hard to diagnose this early of and age due to the lack of communication he isn't going to play with others exchanging words and role playing. So many opinions that differ!

So Now What?

So now what do we think? We are relieved, but confused. They both have very good thoughts for being concerned or not concerned. What does it come down to. A part of me I feel deep down inside and always have that something is different with TJ. Not necessarily medically or this, but he is nothing like anyone else's boys that I know. NONE! No one elses boys, my nephews, etc... are as busy and active and TJ has been. Then again none of them have had speech issues. We are still researching. As of now we are waiting for a call back from the naturapathic dr. We have read that a lot of the milder symptoms could be due to food sensitivities. Maybe that would help. We are wanting to face this at face value while not freaking out about it. (I'm only losing sleep, stressed out, overwhelmed, scared, AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!) We are trying to see all views and sides of the whole thing.

Other peoples reactions have been very weird. There are several people (family and friends) who respond with "I wondered if he had it", "I have wanted to ask if he had autism", "Oh, yeah". Not one person's response came back looking or seeming shocked that someone noticed something in him. It makes me wonder if other people see things more than us. We also know a few people who have a child/ren with clear autism. They look at TJ and said they have felt he was autistic for years. What do you say to that. Really? I want to be in denial and say, where is your medical degree? But who really knows best? The medical dr's, the specialists, the parents of an autistic child?

My Conclusion?

I think that we keep on praying for a accurate diagnosis if he really could have it. Prayer for the people involved in his life that have the knowledge in their respected fields. Prayer that we will seek the answers that are right and not what anyone else wants us to hear or think. That God will make these things clear for us so we are not left making decisions without feeling 100% good about them.

I will leave with this. I am overwhelmed parenting TJ. I love him, like all my children, more than I could ever express. No one wants to hear that their child may have a learning disability, a social issue, a medical issue, or a child who is diagnosed with something. However, I love my children and my son and want to give them the best life. No two children are a like. They are different in so many ways. I just want to know for sure. TJ is no different now than he was Tuesday morning before all this came down. However, if there is a different approach to parenting, disciplining and helping him develop then I am willing to learn, be educated. No matter the outcome God is good. He knows whats going on more than I do. More than we understand, could possibly understand and want to understand.

Until the next update!!!! This is a journey, so bear with us through the nitty gritty or the overreaction............