Autism Night Before Christmas

by Cindy Waeltermann

Twas the Night Before Christmas

And all through the house

The creatures were stirring

Yes, even the mouse

We tried melatonin

And gave a hot bath

But the holiday jitters

They always distract

The children were finally

All nestled in bed

When nightmares of terror

Ran through my OWN head

Did I get the right gift

The right color

And style

Would there be a tantrum

Or even, maybe, a smile?

Our relatives come

But they don’t understand

The pleasure he gets

Just from flapping his hands.

“He needs discipline,” they say

“Just a well-needed smack"

You must learn to parent…”

And on goes the attack

We smile and nod

Because we know deep inside

The argument is moot

Let them all take a side

We know what it’s like

To live with the spectrum

The struggles and triumphs

Achievements, regressions…

But what they don’t know

And what they don’t see

Is the joy that we feel

Over simplicity

He said “hello”

He ate something green!

He told his first lie!

He did not cause a scene!

He peed on the potty

Who cares if he’s ten,

He stopped saying the same thing

Again and again!

Others don’t realize

Just how we can cope

How we bravely hang on

At the end of our rope

But what they don’t see

Is the joy we can’t hide

When our children with autism

Make the tiniest stride

We may look at others

Without the problems we face

With jealousy, hatred

Or even distaste,

But what they don’t know

Nor sometimes do we

Is that children with autism

Bring simplicity.

We don’t get excited

Over expensive things

We jump for joy

With the progress work brings

Children with autism

Try hard every day

That they make us proud

More than words can say.

They work even harder

Than you or I

To achieve something small

To reach a star in the sky

So to those who don’t get it

Or can’t get a clue

Take a walk in my shoes

And I’ll assure you

That even 10 minutes

Into the walk

You’ll look at me

With respect, even shock.

You will realize

What it is I go through

And the next time you judge

I can assure you

That you won’t say a thing

You’ll be quiet and learn,

Like the year that I did

When the tables were turned…….

Not every word to this rings true to us, but most of them do. There are days I forget Tj has autism, then days where you are out right reminded and you fight back tears at the mere thoughts, fears of what the future, even tomorrow, will hold. To be honest, the struggles and joys are close to equal. And sometimes the criticism is too much. Not just with what others think we need to do for the child with autism but with our other kids. I see eye rolls every now and then for not disciplining my children for something that really is so minor. But for us, with all that we go through with TJ our discipline has changed, we pick our battles much differently. We have to. We don't have the energy, nor the ability to pick all the battles other parents can with typical children, let alone if you only have one. Heck maybe two, and I'll go out on a limb and say three. ;) Just sayin, if you are not living someones life be cautious to have a strong opinion about it or their parenting. Like my best friend put it, "Your worst day may be someone elses best." I loved this. And it doesn't just apply to familes/parents dealing with autism. It is with any and everyone.

So as the holidays are upon us lets ALL remember to be careful in judging, criticizing. And yes, this is a reminder to myself. We all have different stories and even if you are someones closest friend, sister, brother, parent, child, you may not know all that is going on in someones life. Especially that of a family fighting autism. You may get a taste but you don't have to choke on it every day.

May we be patient as we celebrate with our family and friends, to show love and respect and to be slow to judge, criticize others. May we remember that Christmas is about Jesus Christ's birth. My prayer for my families and those around me is that we lay aside all that and keep our focus on the true meaning, that we all share that foundation and belief and that nothing else should be greater than that.