Day 1 of Recovery (& a pitty party....)

Pictures are not in order but its ok.

~In recovery after we got to come back to be with her. She shed a few tears as we walked in. She was a little nauseous so they gave her some meds and she was off to sleep.~

~Before surgery. Almost a meltdown then they brought her a mask and "balloon" she would blow up when the sleepy meds went on.~

Well, Miss Maddy is having to be extra brave. About an hour after my mom brought TJ home today he became very fussy. We didn't think anything of it but that he was very tired from not having much of a nap with my parents. By 730 he had thrown up several times in his bed and we didn't know. As I walked through the bedroom door he threw up again, everywhere. This was just the beginning of what is turning out to be a very bad night. This blog itself is taking many attempts as I deal with him and keep hounding MB to drink her fluids. Ron is coughing and feels terrible all while trying to get his power point and presentation together for Tues class, My stomach is killing me, and we still have to be parents to our babes that feel miserable. I am wallowing in pitty. A self thrown pitty party! I am so very sick and tired of sick kids. I am run down, beat down, under appreciated (but I guess all parents are), physically and emotionally drained beyond draining, and I am just feeling the need to put the world on hold and close my eyes. It is nights like tonight when I beg for mercy on my children's health, my sanity and all my weaknesses. I break down and cry may times over and over again as I feel so alone in this mom thing. It is always the ears, strep, a nasty cold, growing pains, teething, headaches, the tummy flu, sinus infection, the list goes on and on and on! Not to mention IF I feel sick. Why am I the one that feels like crap yet has no choice but to continue doing all my duties. It is nights like tonight I wish we were well enough off to have a cleaning person, a cook, a nanny, anything, anyone. Not that anyone would want to step foot in a house with the flu bug flying around. The reality is we don't, so between pukings, diapers that need changed faster than I get them on, filling water bottles, going to the bathroom, checking on Ron, the laundry piles up, the dishes pile up, and I quit caring about it all. I'm surviving!

Then I see a story on tv the few quiet moments that I am sitting with TJ about a little girl from St Jude's who has cancer. Her ability to live is based on 2 truths; finding a cure or witnessing God create a beautiful miracle. Piece of humble pie anyone? My children have the flu, has a minor surgery. I feel sick, have a few cramps, Ron is under the weather . BIG DEAL! We are alive, healthy. We may be fighting a fightable bug but that is it. I still feel all those things I mentioned above. It doesn't make it any easier. But I wake up in the middle of the night grateful I get to have four children, no sleep-filled nights, a few flu bugs, colds, and growing pains. I would dream of nothing less than the bad days I am having if I were not able to have them. When we are reminded that this is so minor, it puts us back into the right place. God never gives us anything more than we can handle. I get tired of hearing it but it truly amazes me each and every time we go through a tough time, I look back on it and have no idea how we made it through. (well, I do and it IS Christ.)

Be back Tuesday with more on Maddy. Thanks for reading my pathetic pitty party!

It is 130 a.m and Maddy is still awake. TJ literally has nothing left to throw up except the saliva that he is swallowing. Sad thing now is that I am letting him get out whatever little bit there is, fold the towel and lay him back down for another use. Too tired and running out of towels. And he is child #4. At least Maddy, TJ, Ron and I will be back in bed after we get the other 2 to school. I hope. Keep us in your prayers, Reality is we can use them.